Britney Spears proves that she can leave the house without looking like a Hurricane Katrina victim.

Britney Spears has truly hit rock bottom. Chris Angel? You don't need him to make your career vanish, that’s what you're for.

Yet another stupid rumor about Britney Spears. Is she gay? Or is it that she just likes getting naked and sucking face with just about everyone?

Britney got drunk and topless after shooting a "video". Her assistant arranged for her to make out with an extra. He sold the pictures to pay for the doctor's visit the next day.

Taken hours before she went off the deep end and shaved her head, Britney poses with some friends and shows us the dark side of the moon. I would be shocked if she managed to take a photo in which she wasn’t naked.

According to sources on the set of her latest music video, Britney Spears was so emotionally distressed that she demanded all the extras leave the stage while she attempted to pole dance. Let us pray that poor pole was heavily disinfected… scratch that - just burn it.

Britney's crystal ball may be covered in fried chicken grease, but it still gets the job done!

...Just to use as a comparison to Perez's version, and to those Yogis. Gross"

Blogger Perez Hilton succeeded in making Britney Spears look sexy and fit by comparison when he paraded hit fat ass around in a pink wig, flip flops, and a Cheetos bag. He even out-crotched her.

Britney's doing her best Sydney Brisco impersonation, but unlike the real Alias spy, Spears sucks. Guess what Brit: we know it's you!

Britney's too big for her britches! Er, um, blouse.

It seems that Britney needs to take the advice of fellow blonde and use some Proactiv!

Sean Preston Federline was driving a Cadillac during a family go-kart outing. Damn, dat boy's PIMP!

Britney's boobs appear deflated and gross – probably from all that breast-feeding!

I'm now convinced that Britney's 999% unsure as to how embarrassing paparazzi photos of her get released.

Britney Spears' website is giving fans the chance to name her upcoming album, in exchange for insight into her sick, retarded sense of humor.

Rumor has it that she has a deal with a paparazzi company, and she's doing this sh!t for ca$h. Figures.

Her underwear should just come with camera cross-hairs on the crotch.

Ol' girl is at it again with her sloppy partying ways! But... what a tease!

Recently the bloated princess of pop vacationed from her busy 15-minute lip-sync concert tour and headed off to Mexico. Apparently she thought "South of the Border" meant it was okay to show off her cheesy gordita ass in a thong.