Word on the street is that Hugh Hefner is planning a proposal to his number-one girl friend, Holly Madison. Go for it, Hef!

Rose McGowan showed up at a Oscars afterparty with some weird bandaid under her eye. Girl is looking rough!

This is no laughing matter, Brit-Brit! You done lost yo' damn marbles, girl!

Holly Madison has probably had some plastic surgery. Just sayin'.

Seriously, you know you're awesome when you're partying with midgets. My friends had better take note: I want midgets at my birthday party!

Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis, larger brother of Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, attended Paris Hilton's recent birthday bash in Vegas. It appears as though he pissed himself, as well!

Paris Hilton showed up at her own birthday party with what looked like foundation clumsily smeared on her face, and sparkle lotion glooped on her chest. Doing your make-up in the limo, Paris?

Petra Nem-cova your nips, girl!

Mena Suvari, the girl from American Beauty that DIDN'T have huge boobs, decided to got topless at the beach recently. But she put these Liquid Generation pasties on right before we took these photos.

But the awesome part is, those girls were still REALLY impressed.

Watch out! Now that Nicole's off the food wagon, you'd best not get between ol' girl and her salads!

This first thing I thought when I first saw the pink iPod was, "wow, if this could only be used by girls to masturbate." Little did I know.

The girl has a serious case of pancake ass. I mean, look at the way her mudflaps droop! Gross!

These girls have been very, VERY good this year! Santa's got a present for them to unwrap!!

Who doesn't like Asian girls on roller skates? Bastard people, that's who.

Sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go… on a fountian, next to some tourists.

So who's walking who, here?

Uhhhhhhh… this is just WRONG.

For her birthday party and Mr. Chows, Britney decided to dress up in a pair of underpants! Huzzah!

Girl, fix yo' hair! Yo' weave be showin', skank!