Both of these Battlestar beauties can be found in the latest Maxim magazine, which we guess is still around and trying to make you horny.

Who in their right mind....

Literally. It has balls.

Sure, she looks like an idiot. But she has to have major balls to have her eyelids tattooed. Cat balls possibly…check above.

Wouldn't it suck if she was really holding a pair of balls?

We get jealous every time we see Heidi and Spencer frolicking in the park. Okay, we lie.

Here's Andy Dick, shortly after he groped a teenager's breasts in the parking lot the Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant. He's clearly happy with himself.

Probably not, it's probably just as worn out as her liver.

If you were to look into a Britney Spears crystal ball it most likely would show this. Everyone knows Oompa Loompas are more supportive than Lynne Spears.

This would truly be the act of a national hero. Oh, if only someone had the balls.

A door that becomes a ping pong table!? By the Gods!

Ecologists' and green enthusiasts have developed a earth friendly habitat that hangs softly from the trees, connecting you to nature. You know what else hangs? Dez Nuts.

Larry King took some time off his busy 'Where am I?" schedule to run through the park and conquer a marauding bench. You go Larry… you go.

This has to be the best invention in the field of ergonomics that we have seen so far. Do they have a his and hers?

Bruce Willis spent the weekend enjoying the view. Bruce is more than double his new girlfriends age, one thought… saggy balls.

Britney's crystal ball may be covered in fried chicken grease, but it still gets the job done!

This guy learned to parallel park from Evel Knievel.

Baby-daddy Larry Birkhead has a tattoo of Anna Nicole on his lower back, just in case we weren't sure which side of the trailer park he's from. (It's the trashy side.)

Dominic "Lost" his balls for a second, then found them again. Thank the lord.

This is what they eat in New England all the time. It keeps their strength up.