Want to hook up with Jesus.

And ain't coming back.

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

The power of make-up.

She just needs some help releasing it.

Now shut up.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Okay, we like Lindsay Lohan again. SUE US.

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Christina: You have boobs. Show them.

Halle Berry denied she was pregnant again on the Jay Leno Show last night, putting to rest the rumors that her boobs were just big because she's having a kid. No, they're just naturally awesome like that.

The more she shows us her bubbly boobies.

For those of you who need help following this amazing song you loved to listen to back in the day when you were high on cocaine.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?

This is how classy we are when we pick up chicks.

Check out the new Lindsay Lohan Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!