Never one to dissappoint, Paris was just hanging out one day… and she was REALLY hanging out! If you know what I mean! (And I think you do!)

I don't know what this means but it sounds both sexy and delicious!

…And here's a diagrammed image to prove it!

Obviously this is a novelty item, because the idea is that someone would walk into your bedroom and think, at first, that you and your heterosexual partner were lying there naked. ...Or it just might be for fat people that don't want to look gross when they're naked. Yeah.

This is some sort of product for the Nintendo DS. And if an old greasy man tries to give it to you from his creepy van, RUN! RUN AWAY!!!!

This is an infamous store in Maine. Their slogan is, "If we ain't got it, you don't need it." True dat.

The wax figures of Victoria Adams and David Beckham were recently draped in American flags to celebrate their recent move to the US. Yay, more big-tittied tarts and their super-studly metrosexual man=meat in L.A.!

Model Jordan is the foxiest one in this photo!

Some of Paris Hilton's possessions were auctioned off, including hundreds of very private photos and, journals, and video. Here she is pretending to be clean. LIAR!

The "Brief Safe" can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling. These specially-designed briefs contain a fly-accessed 4" x 10" secret compartment with Velcro® closure and "special markings" on the lower rear portion. Even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them — wouldn't you?

Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are pegged to host a new reality TV series that basically gets virgins laid. It's being made by the same guy that released the Paris Hilton sex tape, so you know it's gonna be classy.

I think she should just slap an eyepatch on that and get herself some pirate street-cred.

Some Nintendo fan was bored and in posession of a lot of chalk!

This is my favorite move. Although I'm not an actual wrestler, and I use this move while naked. Don't tell my mom.

He looks like sasquatch with a body wax, and yet he STILL has a hot babe with him! Amazing!

From two years ago, but still funny today. Lindsay lost her wallet with her license and a credit card while in New York, and some lucky "fans" found it!

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.

Just fill them with water and goldfish and you've got the pimpingest wheels on the road.

Watch out! Now that Nicole's off the food wagon, you'd best not get between ol' girl and her salads!

The kids and their perceptions of sex these days.