Sadface.

Here's an alleged screen shot of the Jimmy Kimmel sex tape. It's okay if you don't believe it exists, because it probably doesn't. We hope it doesn't.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

If you're looking for an older lady, here is your best bet.

We don't care if this is just an obvious ad for Pepsi. This is a photo of Kim Kardashian and we're required to post every picture of her.

Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.

Is Lindsay Lohan attractive anymore? It looks like the skin is melting off her body and she has the ass of an old man. And what's with her Calvin impression? It's just kinda gross.

We really have no idea who Kelly Brook is. But does it matter? She's English, has a rocking body and for a Londoner, she has perfect teeth. An amazing combination.

That's some sexy makeup!

And by "assets", of course, we mean the things that make Susan Sarandon less annoying as an actress, activist and overall human being. Here's a recent photo of her at the SAG awards, along with her daughter Eva Amurii.

This is not Obama. He's an Indonesian journalist. He cannot provide change. He refuses to Yes your Can.

Sure, she looks like an idiot. But she has to have major balls to have her eyelids tattooed. Cat balls possibly…check above.

Here's an image from the Jessica Alba Campari calendar that's coming out. They could sell this thing without the calendar for all we care. Everyday is Alba day to us!

Does it really matter to you if she looks like an alien?

If you don't get this guy a present, he'll forever stare at you from across the room.

We're pretty sure this is an illegal move.

Whenever there's an opportunity to be gay, it's a museum.

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

As the Lohan Lezbo Watch 2008 continues, this shot from an upcoming direct to DVD movie proves two things: 1) Lohan still can't act 2) Lohan doesn't like dudes anymore.