Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.

These two are so adorable cute! (*wink* x 100 = sarcasm!)

That's some sexy makeup!

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

Heidi and Spencer embody all of our hopes and dreams.

These are real titles of the History Channel's "Modern Marvels" series. Everyone knows cavemen had no "sticky stuff".

American Idols should be thin and beautiful, not fat and radish haired. Boo Fantasia, boo.. And I don't mean the term of endearment.

Just what Americans need, more reasons to sit on their ass and watch TV. Who wants cheese waffles!?

Cats with two heads mean twice the feeding times, but double the cuddle. Unless of course it’s a pissy ass cat… then its twice the eye scratching.

Most of the middle east is hot, dull and colorless. What makes you think a terrorist would suddenly jump ship and start decorating things with pretty lights?

Posh Spice has had enough of the American media. She is poised and ready to take over the country and install a government of blue eyed, blond haired zombie wives. Heil Posh!

Posh Spice stands over an American flag as the Spice Girls reunite.

The x-ray of a snake that swallowed two lightbulbs is now in Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum, right next to the wolf-boy who DIDN'T appear on Sally Jesse.

A stolen Ronald McDonald statue head + hookah parts = phattest American bong ever!

This photoshopped picture of American Idols Blake and Chris got the fag-friendly AI fans out there all knotted up – until people started actually LOOKING at it and realized how fake it was.

American Idol's favorite slutty contestant loves being wet. In fountains. Not that other way. But she probably likes that too.

The American Idol contestest has a whole slew of hot photos on the net – here's just one!

Celebrate black history with your favorite types of soul food. Delicious!

The wax figures of Victoria Adams and David Beckham were recently draped in American flags to celebrate their recent move to the US. Yay, more big-tittied tarts and their super-studly metrosexual man=meat in L.A.!