Next time you are unsure what electronic emotion your cat is trying to express, consult this guide and enjoy hours of fun.

Anna Ferris wrangled up enough free time on the set of her new movie, to pee on Rumer Willis. In all honesty, we have NO IDEA what is going on here.

What happens when you mix a cloning machine, religious taboo, and someone with too much time on their hands? Offensive Art. Enjoy!

Paris went to a Playboy party last night dressed like Paris. Jail time can't keep a good slut down.

Spider Lamb is currently away right now, but if you leave a message he will rush to your resuce when he has the time. SPIDER LAMB!

When you're a busy Hollywood Starlet its impossible to find the time to eat healthy. Those days are gone!

A former Walmart employee bought these Chinese-made flip flops and later got a chemical burn from the plastic strap. Now Walmart's giving her a horrible time about it! WTF!

Thank God this guy took the time to make his custom rims beautiful. Now that's some fine airbrushing!

Note to self: Next time, don't eat massive bean 'n' cheese burrito before bungee jump. Got it.

When Jordan was younger, her huge knockers were once slightly less vomit-inducing, and her face was slightly less wrecked. Oh how times have changed.

Actually this time around we should be calling it re-rehab. HA! Hopefully Promises will help more than Wonderland did!

Here's Mischa about to light up another doob. No wonder she sucks at driving, the girl's stoned all the time!

Leave it to Jessica Simpson to make cleavage look sultry yet painful at the same time. I can't take my eyes off her boobs, which is good, 'cause I'm deathly afraid of her orange freak-face.

This little cutie-pie is all alone now that his internet stalker isn't around any more. Won't someone please fill the hole in his adorable heart??

Britney Spears was caught on film coming out of Millennium Dance Studios, looking better than she has in a long time! Check out those abs!

Not the first time, probably not the last.

Oh, please, like you haven't seen these a thousand times before!

Just in time for her relapse, Lindsay's in the new GQ!

Frances Bean is currently going through that awkward teen phase, where should could end up beautiful like her father, or a bloated stripper-turned-celebrity-turned-tragedy like her mother. Only time will tell.

This is what they eat in New England all the time. It keeps their strength up.