Thank God for the internet. Thank God for TwitPic. If @kimkardashian didn't love to get almost naked so much these things would just be too boring for us. Here's Kim showing off her body as she gets it ready for a Quick Trim shoot.

Somebody please warn Madonna that veins eventually explode after taking too many steroids. And her penis will shrink.

Lindsay Lohan almost looks like a little boy. EAT A SANDWICH, GIRL!

There's fine print for everything. A shame.

If you're looking for an older lady, here is your best bet.

Donald Trump just pardoned Miss California for being a homophobe and appearing nude in photos. We don't care whether she's Satan or Charles Manson, just keep on taking photos like these.

Hugh Hefner's former fake girlfriend Bridget still looks pretty good for being almost 50-years-old. Much love.

Obama might be gay...at least according to the Globe, who we believe almost 100% of the time when we're really drunk.

Who would have known that underneath Chloe's disturbing lemon scowl there's actually a hot babe bursting at the seams. Despite Jay Leno ruining the picture, she's almost a 10.

We're guessing CNN took this down almost as soon as they posted it.

How adorable. Tara Reid found a man with a stomach almost as disturbing has hers! Flabbiness 4evah!

If that thing fell into the water there would be a tsunami that would destroy the world.

Tom Cruise can almost walk under her legs.

Lindsay Lohan's little sister almost looks old enough to collect social security.

Too soon? Come on people, the Civil War was almost 150 years ago. He's merely suggesting that he'd sacrifice another million plus soldiers to keep the South's "freedoms" intact.

Almost forgot about you, how are you doing? Wearing sweatpants, smoking cigarettes, and showing a little bump, good to see you're staying the course.

When 1 minute is just too much time to wait, feel free to shoot yourself. No toast for you.

Crowds are good for many things. Free titty grabs are one of those things.

Scientists in South Korea have so much free time, they have managed to clone glow in the dark cats. Now they can fight off the flying monkeys from N. Korea.

After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."