You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

Or maybe they're just crazy.

Believe it or not, they're related. Is how Jessica Alba's going to look when she's 50. Hopefully not.

There's a little sagging and cottage cheese, but does it even matter?

Here's an image from the Jessica Alba Campari calendar that's coming out. They could sell this thing without the calendar for all we care. Everyday is Alba day to us!

Well, she didn't become a fatass after giving birth. But she is wearing a stupid hat.

We definitely like Alba a lot better these days. Her boobs have that post-pregnancy bounce to them.

Jessica Alba posed as Charlie Chaplin for a recent photo shoot because she was told to not because she had any idea whom he was.

Cash Warren, you sir are the captain of the douche squad, K-Fed has nothing on you, you openly mock Jessica's pregnant body while the rest of us mourn what you ruined.

What adult just sucks a lollipop like that in public? The kind who is pregnant and afraid they will no longer be a sex symbol, that's who.

Jessica Alba was cold once again on the set of her new movie. Too bad this isn't the set for Batman, thus revealing she will play Harley Quinn. That would be geektastic!

Jessica Alba was apparently freezing on the set of her new Movie, "The Eye". Jessica plays a blind girl who doesn’t believe in bras.

Alba went shopping in a Rite Aid this weekend and must have stepped into the freezer section. Either that or she is pointing at the best detergent that money can buy.

Jessica Alba is known for her beautiful beach bum, but did you know her nickname is Sandy Bottoms? True story.

Jessica Alba has a great ass... and really knows how to wear a bikini!

Isn't that adorable? Yeah we love doggies too.

Let's just say that if I died and they used Jessica's butt as the pillow in my coffin, I'd already be in heaven.