Too soon? Come on people, the Civil War was almost 150 years ago. He's merely suggesting that he'd sacrifice another million plus soldiers to keep the South's "freedoms" intact.

I'll be able to answer phones, get drunk, start wars, and do all the other things boy presidents do, don't worry about it.

2008, ongoing war, crashing economy, no TV, boring election, who cares?? Miss America 2008 looks hot, and thats all we need!!

War times calls for national unity. The army is now recruiting butch lesbians to rebuilt war town areas of Baghdad.

A Star Wars pit crew works Darth's kick ass race car.

Known as the Highway of Death, this stretch of land in Iraq is a reminder of the wonders of war in such a civilized time.

This man has some sort of genetic trait that mutates HPV, causing huge tree like growths to erupt from his body. Where are Mary and Pippin?

If Michael Bay ran the military, there would never be any more wars.

Adrian was not only the coolest red head on the block, but he was a bona fide sith lord. With his trusty lightsaber in hand, he was guaranteed to fend off any unwanted vaginal advances.

The Cavemen did nothing to advance their "kind" as they left The Ivy this weekend. Although we don't really know what the middle finger meant back then.

This horrified little baby is yet another victim of a knitting-needle wielding Star Wars fan.

Save your files with the nerdiest thumb drives evar!

"The Art of War"? This is totally a fake photo!

This is way too compicated, dude! We'll shave grandma's back!