Finally, a cure for diabetes!

The fact that you can write a check on her butt doesn't mean you don't fantasize about her reject you.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.

And by "somewhat okay" we mean AWESOME.

It always happens a couple times a year: for a week straight Tara Reid makes the paparazzi take photos of her in a bikini, and for a week straight we laugh at her stomach.

Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?

She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.

A little bit too much Viagra, Mr. Dole?

This is what happens when you shoot your child out of a cannon and onto a Slip N' Slide. Failtastic!

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Mena Suvari is ripped! Six pack! Abs! Hotness! She has it all.

Today, we're all Michael Jackson. Or we mourn Michael Jackson. Ah, whatever. We're just really, really sad.

His friends said she kind of looked like a horse, but he didn't know what they were talking about.

Just kidding, fatso, she wants to give this guy a massage.

Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

If you're wondering who Leighton Meester is, this is her. TMZ is reporting she has a sex tape that's being shopped around Hollywood. And it involves her feet. Sexy!

Somebody turn off the air conditioning! We've got a live one here!

It's going to take a lot more than flowers to get in her pants, buddy. Start with trying to replace your face.

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!