Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

And by "assets", of course, we mean the things that make Susan Sarandon less annoying as an actress, activist and overall human being. Here's a recent photo of her at the SAG awards, along with her daughter Eva Amurii.

Lindsay, we've already seen your crotch. Let's see your boobs! Oh wait, we've already seen those, too.

Is it possible to give her the Oscar for "Best Actress Who Made Oneself Ugly" now so we don't have listen to her all year about how "hard" this was.

Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon without a pre-nup, which means he presumably could steal this sweet Teen Choice Awards surfboard and like a bajillion dollars.

The award for Best Supporting Bodyguard in a Paparazzi Photo goes to “guy fondling his walkie-talkie with his eyes closed.”

From William Goldman to Diablo Cody you've come a long way screenwriters. How on Earth did you get studios to pay you when she is the "best" of the year?

Lindsay Lohan probably will mimick Marilyn Monroe's life in every way, other than the respected film career, which Lohan has replaced with Razzie award winning film career.

Danny Bonaduce Knocked out Johnny Fairplay at the FOX Reality TV awards. No one knows what started the brawl, but it was widely accepted that no one cared.

RoboBeyonce was unveiled at the BET awards by Roc-A-Fella Records, to replace the songstress once her ass gets hitched to Jay-Z.

Another passionate celebrity kiss from the MTV Movie Awards '07!

The MTV Movie Awards always prompts some sort of gimmicky hi-jinx. Here's Jessica and Sarah pretending to go all "college-experimental" in front of America.

I'm not really sure who TV actress Megan Fox is, or why she might be famous, but she walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards long enough for photogs to get a good shot of one stupid, nonsensical tattoo. 'Gilded butterflies'? Come on!!

Recently actress Penelope Cruz won an award for Best Boobs in Hollywood. Congrats, Penelope. Bravo.

LeeLee Sobieski looked hot at the Oscars Vanity Fair party.

For some reason I can't find more photos of Courtney at this Oscars after-party. Help! Need more photographic evidence of crazy!

Halle Berry looked radiant at the Oscars!

Rose McGowan showed up at a Oscars afterparty with some weird bandaid under her eye. Girl is looking rough!

Jessica Biel doesn't need a bra – she's OUR best "supporting" actress!

Clint Eastwood's wife "grabbed" his crotch during Martin Scorcese's acceptance speech. Awkward!!