Taken hours before she went off the deep end and shaved her head, Britney poses with some friends and shows us the dark side of the moon. I would be shocked if she managed to take a photo in which she wasn’t naked.

According to sources on the set of her latest music video, Britney Spears was so emotionally distressed that she demanded all the extras leave the stage while she attempted to pole dance. Let us pray that poor pole was heavily disinfected… scratch that - just burn it.

The best part of the boob is the underboob. Thanks for illustrating that for us, Heather.

We love Paula Abdul because she never fails to make us laugh. ...at how drunk she is.

The U.S. Mint actually made REAL quarters featuring the Silver Surfer, from the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. It's amazing how sold out our country can get.

For oh so many reason, we love the world's greatest funny-lady. But reason #1 right now: she makes us jealous of this gorilla suit.

Lindsay frolicked in the ocean with British boyfriend Calum Best over the weekend, and her nipple tried to escape her bikini. Lucky us.

Paris is getting into shape before prison, and luckily for us man-lovers, her trainer is SUPER hot!!

I bet she even has a yeast infection like us, too.

The jury is out for some, but for those of us who've been following the recent growth of the celebutard's lady-pillows, I think she's gotten something done.

The wax figures of Victoria Adams and David Beckham were recently draped in American flags to celebrate their recent move to the US. Yay, more big-tittied tarts and their super-studly metrosexual man=meat in L.A.!

For the little kid in all of us.

When you crack open this piñata, little US Army men fall out! Let's inspect it for WMDs!

Even dispite her recent image makeover, Tara Reid wants us to know she's still partying 'til she falls down.

A great place for some cheap action!

Who didn't tell us about the party in the bathroom!?!?!

For some reason this fat viking chick is really turning us on. Or maybe it's her sexy bicycle!?!

We'd like to believe this was our car. And we'd like to believe that our girlfriend had those boobs. Ah, she's going to break up with us.

Please, tell us this picture isn't photoshoped. Please!

We want to know WHO did this girl's hair. Fantasic Sams and Boricks is so not doing it for us anymore.