Paris Hilton is modeling for Fila, their first major endorsement since Grant Hill in 1995. She looks as confused as us.

Britney may have had an "episode" last night but Hillary Clinton isn't feeling too good either after millions of dollars and being nice to Bill only gave her 3rd place.

The Dalorean is coming back on the market and who wouldn’t want to outfit their new car with a Flux Capacitor!? Oh yeah, us poor people.

Creepy and ominous. Let's all agree not to shower anymore. Oh… some of us apparently made that decision years ago.

The Japanese have created a robot that feels pain… they are going to be the creators of our robotic overlords.

In America, we have learned to have children without the need to raise them. This board game will further allow us to watch reality while leaving the kids busy!

Is it just us, or does Christina Ricci look a lot like V.I.C.K.I from Small Wonder?

After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."

Even their cats hate us for our freedom.

Each of these LOTR characters was folded from one piece of paper. This further shames those of us who are unable to fold a paper airplane.

There is way too much sexy here for words, but let us start with 'Rough".

… and times almost up. Way to prove us all wrong Chris…

"Yeah, I could be sending this money to the troops for body armor, but I REALLY need this iPhone."

Ricky Martin… National Coming out day was just recently upon us… hint, hint.

Someone build these two bastards from the ground up out of legos and lonely Sunday nights. Pretty impressive if you ask us, but you didn’t… so we will shut up.

Praise be to Jebus! This five foot tall Lego recreation of the Crystal Cathedral is the first time that many of us have even seen a church.

This Benz is diamond studded and cost over $5 million dollars. It belongs to Prince Waleed, an oil sheik. Bastards! The terrorists did win!

Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.

You haven't had teriyaki until you have tried a spiced alligator tail. Delicious! Excuse us, we need to hit the reset button. (Shoves finger into throat)

Seriously? Where in the world is this a problem? Please tell us, we would like to know when traveling, which public transit network to avoid. Another thing… why are the other passengers just sitting there?