For all the right reasons.

Want to hook up with Jesus.

And ain't coming back.

Apparently, comparing Michael Bay to Hitler didn't exactly please Steven Spielberg and that's why she isn't in the new movie. As always, I am 100% Team Spielberg.

Even a tramp needs the support of their family.

As pissed as she looks, I hope she still autographed the picture.

Looks like the night is over for her.

I don't think one of those cameras is pointed at the car.

The power of make-up.

She just needs some help releasing it.

It's pretty obvious who doesn't belong in this picture.

Lady Gaga + Doc Brown = The most amazing hairstyle of all time.

Sadface.

Part of us is jealous and we wish this would happen to our foot. It would be a great way to spend the afternoon.

100% more Annoying or a 100% Fierce? We'd like to punch her in the face either way - in a total non-wife-beat-y sort of way!

Oh, look who got a new pair of boobs! And from the looks of it they fell right out of a gumball machine and onto her chest. Now we know Amy is rich, so why does it look like she has a cheap a boob job as that girl in high school who got addicted to crack, like, ten years later?

We never knew the Jonas Bros. were such sluts.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.