Apparently, comparing Michael Bay to Hitler didn't exactly please Steven Spielberg and that's why she isn't in the new movie. As always, I am 100% Team Spielberg.

Today, we're all Michael Jackson. Or we mourn Michael Jackson. Ah, whatever. We're just really, really sad.

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

We'd love to skateboard on this if only to a rim job of the rails on a half pipe. (wait...we're trying to talk Sk8r. Did that make any sense?)

Check out the new Michael Phelps Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

We don't care that she's a hundred years old or banged Michael Bolton. Nicolette is bangin'.

Where is Michael Phelps' dad? He's in some pool eating small children/midgets.

Paraguayan Olympian Leryn Franco will never date you or Michael Phelps. So just shut it.

That large black device placed above her ample bottom is a microphone pack for her new reality show tentatively titled "I'm Slightly More Interesting When I'm In A Bikini".

Michael Bolton and Nicolette Sheridan's new ad for London Fog is really weird and disturbing but so are guys who wear London Fog jackets so it works.

This TV anchor has the same disease that Michael Jackson "supposedly' has.

No Michael, we didn't come to see you. We are here for your delicious breads and pastries. Duh…

If Michael Bay ran the military, there would never be any more wars.

The pure love, that exudes from Michael Stipe's eyes, screams "forever". Everybody hurts… but not anymore.

The Golden Snub-Nosed Monkey is surprisingly cute, despite having a Michael Jackson/Skeletor nose. Lookit the little guy!!

Paris & Nikki Hilton and Nicole Richie are seen here posing with Michael Jackson. Weirder still is the old man next to them with the oxygen machine.

Only one of many recently-inspired Michael Richards shirts