Somebody turn off the air conditioning! We've got a live one here!

Remember Natalie Imbruglia? She sings that one song we forgot the name off? Well yeah, here she is. She had to wear a bikini to make people notice here again.

There's fine print for everything. A shame.

If you're looking for an older lady, here is your best bet.

Donald Trump just pardoned Miss California for being a homophobe and appearing nude in photos. We don't care whether she's Satan or Charles Manson, just keep on taking photos like these.

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

These two have seen The Dark Knight, and you most likely have not. It's a cruel world we live in.

They listened to Soundgarden, watched Singles, and talked about how much easier life would be if they lived in Seattle.

Good news! We're no longer biodegradable living organisms.

Since it has literally become unthinkable that people will ever feel sympathy and "Leave Britney Alone", think of the poor dog that has to live through this.

Score a little credit for Scientology and Will Smith as his film proclaimed "Giants lose to Patriots for second time this season 23 to 7." LRH lives!

When 1 minute is just too much time to wait, feel free to shoot yourself. No toast for you.

Crowds are good for many things. Free titty grabs are one of those things.

Scientists in South Korea have so much free time, they have managed to clone glow in the dark cats. Now they can fight off the flying monkeys from N. Korea.

Fergie sang Live and let die at the Music something or other. She spent some of the time flying around the stage playing a rocking version of Quidditch.

This is how Jesus really lived his life, as a tricky illusionist.

After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."

It's like a reverse planetarium.

Ms. Olsen #1 looks better here than she does during any other given day. The undead look works for you, live it.

Sienna Miller is pissed about nudie pics leaking from the set of Hippie Hippie Shake. In fairness the boobs and "hippie garden" will be covered during a CGI drug trip.