With a real strict door policy.

Or at least a well staged photograph.

I don't think one of those cameras is pointed at the car.

How was your weekend?

We like it when Linday Lohan tries on shoes. And so do you.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

Well, that's what we've gathered from this sign at least.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Okay, we like Lindsay Lohan again. SUE US.

Never was there such a beauty in all the land. Lindsay Lohan, apple of our stinkeye.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Christina: You have boobs. Show them.

The more she shows us her bubbly boobies.

When we want to be a douchebag, we go to a pool party and sit like this, too.

Here is Kelly, vacationing in LA with her boobs and butt. That's all we need to say because we don't even think you're looking at these words at this point.

And her "precious" is a nice heaping pile of cocaine.

Don't cry, Emo Boy. You will fail at something else some day.

Here's Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Machete. How she's working again we have no idea. All we know is that she sucks at using spray tan.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.