Rihanna's new tattoo is a message to girls EVERYWHERE. What it's saying, we have no idea.

Hugh Hefner's former fake girlfriend Bridget still looks pretty good for being almost 50-years-old. Much love.

If we had to grow a beard, it would look exactly like this one.

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

The editor of this newspaper has obviously never delivered a pizza to a 40-year-old woman's door and then proceeded to have sex with her.

The Westminster Dog Show is this week. And judging by this photo, it's also a time to for judges to totally abuse the crap out of cute defenseless puppies.

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

We're guessing CNN took this down almost as soon as they posted it.

If it's not, than you're not ready to hit the beach, either!

This is going to be such a bittersweet week. Take it in, guys. Take it in.

It's not racist if it's on eBay. Right? RIGHT GUYS?

Believe it or not, they're related. Is how Jessica Alba's going to look when she's 50. Hopefully not.

When you reach a certain age, things start falling apart. Jenny, we're going to miss you.

Jessica Simpson has lost about 30 pounds, and has obviously be working out – she's got the calves to prove it!

Get it? Because the Illinois Governor is a crook and the sofa shop is having a sale?

Get it? Cause you can only see half her ass in the photo, and it doesn't look like she's trying very hard.

There's a little sagging and cottage cheese, but does it even matter?

What's the point of a calendar filled with boobs? It's not like you're going to be looking at the dates anyway. You're going to be looking at the boobs. Just take the dates away and leave the boobs.

Wouldn't it suck if she was really holding a pair of balls?

This 27-year-old Obama speech writer (left) is in a little trouble for grabbing fake Hillary Clinton's fake boob. We'd understand if he was grabbing Palin's breasteses, cause she's hot, but whatevs. If he likes man-boobs that's his deal.