Even New Jersey can't be held accountable for Criss Angel anymore, he truly is on a level all his own.

I'll be able to answer phones, get drunk, start wars, and do all the other things boy presidents do, don't worry about it.

His cellmate was heard whispering in his ear, "I'm gonna do to you, what you did to rap music".

Dear Dean McDermott, while most think you're insane for doing this, knowing that your first child has a 10 million dollar trust fund, this was probably a good investment.

"See guys, a girl! Her name's Sophie Monk and her bangin' body is all mine!...why aren't we touching? oh you missed that, i was hetero-ing all over her inside."

Timberlake witnessed Memphis' historic choke first hand, this is probably similar to the choke he had on the SATs when applying to Memphis, lucky the singing panned out.

Even doing flips, shaking your humps, and pissing your pants will not impress the ladies that wrote "Barracuda"(known now as "chick song from Guitar Hero III").

Your answer will be forwarded to Chris Hansen.

I want you to know, that my boobs are back...And I'm here to remind you, Of the mess you left when you played with them...You, you, you oughta know.

It looks like her "Goldie Hawn years" will be here sooner than we expected. Time to delete Penny Lane from your 70s rock star fantasy.

Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were "caught" frollicking on the beach together. "Caught" as in after numerous calls to the paparazzi they began to pose weirdly on the beach.

After spending one day pretending to be homeless Tyra Banks claims she understands their plight. She also only spent one day in high school and proclaimed "I'm smart".

Dear Crappy Dude from Razorlight, your band sucks, you suck, do not spread your suck to Hermoine or Ron will kick your ass!

Mr. Pacheco, next time pick a picture from the photo booth at the mall without your GF in it for your Fake ID.

Could you look any more angry about having a model in your lap in a bikini?

The hair is not distracting from your baby bump, it just makes your whole appearance more disturbing.

It doesn't have to be so complicated if you promise to keep your mouth shut and and a bikini on.

A picture that is worth a thousand words maybe but definitely not worth your 9 bucks at the theater. How does Sarah Jessica Parker stay uglier than her clothes? It seems impossible.

Heath Ledger, 28, died today either from a drug overdose or an increasingly insane viral marketing campaign for the upcoming Batman movie.

Score a little credit for Scientology and Will Smith as his film proclaimed "Giants lose to Patriots for second time this season 23 to 7." LRH lives!