You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

She just needs some help releasing it.

Her butt makes us want to cry happy tears just to know something like it exists in this horrible world.

Oh, look who got a new pair of boobs! And from the looks of it they fell right out of a gumball machine and onto her chest. Now we know Amy is rich, so why does it look like she has a cheap a boob job as that girl in high school who got addicted to crack, like, ten years later?

We never knew the Jonas Bros. were such sluts.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

OH HAI, CAMERA PERSON. CAN U PLS TAKE PIC NOW!?!

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

Yes, she's one of our favorites. And yes, we don't know who that dude is standing next to her but we want to punch him in the face and steal Sophia away.

Google knows what Kanye West really is...

Sometimes the internet just knows the right things to say.

Here's Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Machete. How she's working again we have no idea. All we know is that she sucks at using spray tan.

Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

I always knew she had one.

This Gossip Girl surely knows what to do to be famous: show your panties. Just like Britney, Xtina, and every other slutsicle, Taylor knows how to get our attention.

His friends said she kind of looked like a horse, but he didn't know what they were talking about.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.