It seems all that David Beckham can do on the field is injure himself. Again, he will be out for another 6 weeks due to a torn ligament. Robot Posh is pissed.

In Russia, they love Vodka so much, that during times of peace, all guards carry AK-47'S made of Vodka Bottles. Drink up you commie bastards!

Elle Macpherson looks amazing for someone in her 40's. But seriously… we all know you can't surf, you little liar!

All summer Rihanna has promised we can stand under her umbrella. With this we become one step closer to seeing the nipple under the umbrella.

Christina Aguilera is pregnant, as well all know and her boobs are getting bigger by the day! Waldo now thinks they are a good place to hide.

Anna Ferris wrangled up enough free time on the set of her new movie, to pee on Rumer Willis. In all honesty, we have NO IDEA what is going on here.

Russia is saying these dolls were imported from China to confuse the sexual identity of Russian's youth. On a side note, all of Russia came out of the closet today.

According to sources on the set of her latest music video, Britney Spears was so emotionally distressed that she demanded all the extras leave the stage while she attempted to pole dance. Let us pray that poor pole was heavily disinfected… scratch that - just burn it.

Jack Nicholson is not one to let the young, hot, vacationing starlets get all the spotlight; he wants the tabs to get a load of his bikini body too!

This guy is so proud of all the weight he's lost, that he gladly suffocates passers-by with his massive stomach skin. Tuck THAT!

Gamers play all night!

Ice Cube's wife Coco has a body that defies all logic. Behold, her white girl badonkadonk!!

Paris drew a picture for the good folks at TMZ and they almost threw it out because they thought it was from a retarded fan. But then they noticed her spot-on signature, which she no doubt practiced signing for years all over her Trapper Keeper.

The question all women ask: do these pasties make me look fat?

Britney's boobs appear deflated and gross – probably from all that breast-feeding!

This clever ad for pole dance classes can be seen on bus stop poles all over British Columbia.

NSFW?? For all you far-reaching pervs and Petra Nemcova fans, here's a shot of her *almost* showing her nipple. Seriously, I've gotten more action off a JC Penney's underwear catalog.

The MTV Movie Awards always prompts some sort of gimmicky hi-jinx. Here's Jessica and Sarah pretending to go all "college-experimental" in front of America.

Here's Mischa about to light up another doob. No wonder she sucks at driving, the girl's stoned all the time!

This guy has something to do with Pamela Anderson's new movie. Great. All I know is, he's lookin' at the same things I am!!