Can you imagine masturbating with this hand? After all, It's not gay if it's YOUR finger.

With all the nasty ass crap that lesbians are doing with each other these days, it's a surprise heterosexual men have not been phased out.

Creepy and ominous. Let's all agree not to shower anymore. Oh… some of us apparently made that decision years ago.

The Japanese have created a robot that feels pain… they are going to be the creators of our robotic overlords.

A stainless steal temple is important for all true believers. Nothing says "God loves you", like an expensive temple built in a village in which most the people starve to death.

Bush once said he spoke to god and why wouldn’t he, he is Jesus after all. NOW PASS THAT BREAD!

Gotta catch them all, you greasy faced zit popper!

Can you imagine peeing while looking out one of these windows? The good news is you would have a solid excuse for pissing all over everything.

This is art at its finest. We are pretty sure that’s a real skull and all those little people are bones in the body. Who knew your stomach held so many Chinese workers?

Marilyn Manson actually looks normal without all that makeup. Although, we doubt he would be selling many CD's, looking like a WoW nerd.

Finally! Years of allegation and no evidence, but here it is! Of all the men that the wig wearing scientologist could pick, why the liver spot?

Marcus and Julian spent the weekends performing awkwardly gay tricks for the crowds. One day, Julian saw his reflection in a mirror, mid flip, it was all down hill from there.

Decent Photoshop or white trash soup kitchen? Hmm Olive Garden sounds really appetizing all of a sudden.

Japanese students everywhere passed out when their batteries died and where not replaced in time. Further proving the Japanese are not really human at all.

After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."

Some random guy is selling his entire lifetime of video game systems and cartridges for a whopping $14,000. Maybe with all that money he can finally see what a vagina looks like.

Ok, all jokes aside… who wants to stick it in?

Awww dressed up like Snow White, rabies all of a sudden isn't so scary.

Mr. Harris spent his Halloween proving to the world that gay people can be colorful and yet demonic, all at the same time.

… and times almost up. Way to prove us all wrong Chris…