We really have no idea who Kelly Brook is. But does it matter? She's English, has a rocking body and for a Londoner, she has perfect teeth. An amazing combination.

Jessica Simpson has lost about 30 pounds, and has obviously be working out – she's got the calves to prove it!

The fact that you can even acquire a dress with Bambi's spewing blood all over the place is only slightly less disturbing than actually wearing it, rock on Lily!

It looks like her "Goldie Hawn years" will be here sooner than we expected. Time to delete Penny Lane from your 70s rock star fantasy.

From 3rd Rock to blinding Claudia Schiffer in lingerie, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has an awesome agent. He definitely does not deserve this.

Chris Rock was caught taking a none too subtle look at Rhianna's back side.

Fergie sang Live and let die at the Music something or other. She spent some of the time flying around the stage playing a rocking version of Quidditch.

"So how is that rocking acting career coming along? Oh yeah, really? Umm yeah, you know what, I will have the Steak, thanks".

"Trust me, this works every time. Usually they continue to cry for a while, but after about 30 seconds they are fast asleep… for a while."

Jesus could walk on water, so what? We have yet to see a picture of Jesus performing any miracles while rocking a cool pair of board shorts.

Jessica Simpson looks like a dumb Muppet from Fraggle Rock. All she is missing is a dunce cap and a catchy song about dyslexia.

Gwen Stefani used to be hard core and she rocked. Now she sings pop music and kidnaps Asians. If you're going to sell out, UPSIZE THE BOOBS!

Beth Ditto, the rock and glam queen flashed the crowd a bit of her pink frosted cinnabon. 250 people instantly developed diabetes and gave up sugar.

Britney Spears has truly hit rock bottom. Chris Angel? You don't need him to make your career vanish, that’s what you're for.

I bet the 30 seconds it would have taken to put on his pants might have spared him *some* humiliation. And scrapes.

Jared Leto got fat for his role as John Lennon's killer. Then he got skinny for his roll as rock music killer. Because he's a douche.

Anna Nicole Smith died in a south Florida hotel, after collapsing in her room at the Hard Rock Hotel in Hollywood, FL. Rest in peace, Crazy Lady.

Singer Brandy was involved in a fatal car accident on Dec. 30, 2006, and was caused when Brandy's 2007 Land Rover collided with this 2005 Toyota, resulting in a four-car pile-up.

On Dec. 30, 2006, Brandy's Land Rover collided with a 2005 Toyota, which was struck by this '89 Acura.

This baby is going to grow up to worship the devil.