...unless you want your ass to be poked.

Kate Moss dresses like a pigeon and craps on the street.

We here at LG love something's and sticks. When we heard they were combining them, we jumped on the bandwagon.

Most of the middle east is hot, dull and colorless. What makes you think a terrorist would suddenly jump ship and start decorating things with pretty lights?

Computer nerds around the world go from floppy (disk drive) to hard (disk drive) when they see this beauty roll down the street.

"OK so get this officer, I was chasing a burglar out of my house, right? Then my pants just shot off into the street and he pulled out a gun, I got scared and I..."

Altar boys run crying where these two streets meet.

It's July 2nd, 2007, and Lindsay Lohan has finally turned 21!

Note to self: Next time, don't eat massive bean 'n' cheese burrito before bungee jump. Got it.

He was shot in the back of the head. What a shame. Now the Sesame Street neighborhood Girl Scouts will never make enough money for their camping trip.

Paulina Rubio is no stranger to showing off her nether regions, but word on the street is that she keeps her Baja Fresh.

Word on the street is that Hugh Hefner is planning a proposal to his number-one girl friend, Holly Madison. Go for it, Hef!

I think she should just slap an eyepatch on that and get herself some pirate street-cred.

Next week we'll be brought to you by the letter H!

I only pay $3.75 to get pounded down the street.

I got my nails did! Now I can Tickle You with Elmo!

Computers jumped out of the World Trade Center, too? (Yes, we know. But we're already going to hell)

Reason #23456 that Asians are funny. They allow birds who don't fly on the streets!

All those punk rock girls you see on the street won't age well, too. We'd hate to see a back tattoo on our grandma