If you don't have good dreams, Bagel, you got nightmares.

She really looks great and you can barely notice that she actually stitched two seperate bikini bottoms and a brown paper bag together for the bottom.

It's hard work to have the biggest "asset" in Hollywood and Kim puts in the calories others won't. Chubby Chasers Unite!

If she thinks getting off The Pill and getting into baby-making position with a dude from Good Charlotte shows her new found maturity she's got another thing coming (a dumb baby).

Look not even Rosie O'Donnell was this happy when she revealed she was a lesbian and you're not a good actress, so what's the deal?

Is it possible to give her the Oscar for "Best Actress Who Made Oneself Ugly" now so we don't have listen to her all year about how "hard" this was.

Although Superman's whole thing is wearing underwear outside his pants, Clark Kent does not look good in a bikini, and so they invented Supergirl!

If your last name is Jolie-Pitt, you're having the best childhood ever.

Almost forgot about you, how are you doing? Wearing sweatpants, smoking cigarettes, and showing a little bump, good to see you're staying the course.

There's a Ross and Rachel joke here somewhere but it's best not to think too much about John Mayer banging Jennifer Aniston.

Thought meth made you skinny and scabby, not fat and flabby, oh well, still sucks to be you.

Crank 2 will do very well in DVD rentals where teenage boys can enjoy the "film" in the proper setting.

There are many things she does better than acting, smoking is one of them.

Dear Dean McDermott, while most think you're insane for doing this, knowing that your first child has a 10 million dollar trust fund, this was probably a good investment.

Your answer will be forwarded to Chris Hansen.

She's the world's first "special" supermodel, that's for sure.

Toe or no toe she does not look hot. The only people who would tell a girl this is a good look is another girl or a guy who is about to sex said girl.

Take it from us, some things are better off left animated.

Kate Hudson may or may not be pregnant but she is definitely showing off her best side on vacation.

The award for Best Supporting Bodyguard in a Paparazzi Photo goes to “guy fondling his walkie-talkie with his eyes closed.”