Or at least a well staged photograph.

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

Well, that's what we've gathered from this sign at least.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Even though we would never be caught dead reading GQ Magazine (for fear that it will make us start dressing better!). But if they continue to populate that magazine with pictures like this, we'll get a lifetime subscription.

A review of "Enemy of the State" that is just about the best thing ever.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Oh, Mr. Cameron. You didn't just rip off Delgo, did you? (Psst! That's awesome! We secretly love that movie!"

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

Seriously, does Heather Graham age? She's looked the same for the past ten years. Good jeans or good doctor?

Remember Natalie Imbruglia? She sings that one song we forgot the name off? Well yeah, here she is. She had to wear a bikini to make people notice here again.

If you have to wear a bathing suit this summer, make sure you have boobs.

If you're looking for an older lady, here is your best bet.

According to every penis in the world, this lady won the best butt of 2009.

Rupert Everett allegedly got a face lift. Or two or five of them.

Hugh Hefner's former fake girlfriend Bridget still looks pretty good for being almost 50-years-old. Much love.

Best dressed in 2009, for sure.

(rollover the picture to reveal the shocking conclusion to this picture's title!)