Just in case you didn't know how to be a tool...

Two dudes in Georgia supposedly found Bigfoot. Here he is in a freezer. This doesn't look fake at all.

We have no idea what Paz has acted in, and we don't really care. She's wearing a thong for crying out loud. That is all you need to know about her.

Vern Troyer played a little game of golf this week. Get it? A "little game of golf?" Yeah, we don't think we're funny either.

After this photo was taken, the tree started to cry and it ran away.

The mustache that everybody says looks horrible on you...well Lauren Conrad spotted you in the crowd, and she obviously loves it.

At the lunch table we always trade our Cool Ranch Doritos for Fried Pig.

Somebody stick a pin in her boobs and watch her shoot to the moon.

Here's Andy Dick, shortly after he groped a teenager's breasts in the parking lot the Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant. He's clearly happy with himself.

Uma Thurman is as scared as you are of whatever is growing in her stomach.

These two have seen The Dark Knight, and you most likely have not. It's a cruel world we live in.

Kelly Clarkson could not be reached for comment.

The Disney circle of life has been completed as the former star returns home to ride Alice in Wonderland with her girlfriend.

The only way you can complain about this picture is that 1 second before and after this picture was taken you could probably see her nipple, which would have been nice.

The shocking thing is you don't have to feel guilty looking at her, she's actually 23 and far from starring in any actual High School Musicals.

Elena Dementieva was defeated today at Wimbledon in straight sets by one half of the Muscular Sisters. Thus eliminating all of the hot and our interest in tennis.

Maria Sharapova exited the Wimbledon 2008 tournament either for losing in straight sets today or for wearing a weird tuxedo outfit that wasn't revealing enough.

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

Jelena Jankovic won Tuesday in straight sets, 6-3, 6-2. Jelena is the 2 seed in the tournament but she's #1 in our hearts with that skirt.

Ana Ivanovic defeated Rossana De los rios in straight sets 6-1, 6-2. She also looks nice in a sports bra. That's called win, win ladies and gentlemen.