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I have heard so much about the new Mac Tablet that I almost want to get one myself... even though they supposedly don't exist, and if they do, no one has ever seen one, besides Willy Wonka... uhh, I mean Steve Jobs and his Oompa-Loompas.
So much speculation has gone into what these magical tablets are going to look like and what they are going to do, and yet no one has thought about how these new devices are going to affect the way we see celebrities.
Lucky for you guys, I know a thing or two about magic too, Photoshop magic. Using my Photoshop magic I was able to whip up some images of what we all have to look forward to from some of your favorite celebs once the Mac Tablet flies into Apple stores via the glass elevator.
Before the Mac Tablet, Victoria Beckham's son had to use his drawing pad to cover his mum's face from the paparazzi, but with the Mac Tablet, he won't have to worry about messing up his drawings.
Before the Mac Tablet, Lindsay Lohan's life was spiraling out of control, and she had to cover her face with tie-died clutch handbags, but the Mac Tablet is going to change all that. By the time the Mac Tablet hits stores, no one will even want to take pictures of her.
Before the Mac Tablet, Pete Wentz was kind of a playful d-bag. When the Mac Tablet comes out, Ashley Simpson still won't be able to sing, but he will be an even more playful d-bag, even more overly impressed by his own cleverness and long eyelashes.
P.S. - Expect someone like Rob Zombie or Robin Williams to show up on the VMA's dressed like Moses and carrying two Mac Tablets with the twelve commandments (possibly of rock and roll). Trust me.
Sincerely,
Charles McCarthy
IdeasbyChuck.com
Pete Wentz Married his Sister
To say Pete's sister does not look like Ashlee would be like saying Pete Wentz is not a douchebag.
Wentz Dons the Doucheplate
Not since the Marx Brothers has someone so eloquently produced satire like what Pete Wentz is doing here with a paper plate, Hot Topic already started producing more plates.
Ashlee Simpson Preps For Divorce
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!
Pete Doherty's Latest Drug Video
Pete Doherty proves one of two things in this video; he is immortal or he's cooking frosted flakes not heroin.
Mary-Kate Olsen Likes Gays
Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!
Kitty Likes Crack
Pete Doherty is seen here forcing his cat to take a hit off a crack pipe. We personally hope this lands that sick little gerbil fart a few years in jail.
Pete Wentz & His Guyliner
Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz wears eyeliner, but since he's a boy, we call it guyliner. Apparently this was worth an entire People Magazine news piece. I'm going to go kill myself now.
Pete Doherty is a JUNKIE
Seriously, if he wasn't famous he'd get kicked out of places for being a homeless person. Scary. (He touches a supermodel with those fingers.)
Celebrity Phone Tap: Kate Moss & Pete Doherty
Kate Moss walks the catwalk in style. Pete Doherty plays great music. Together they are known as drug addicted douche bags!
Kate Moss Hangs Out a Window
On-lookers said that Kate and Pete Doherty looked "out of it." Yeah, never would have guess that one.
Pete Doperty & CoKate Moss Do a Duet
Smoke weed, listen to Sonny & Cher. Smoke crack, listen to Pete & Kate. Makes sense.
Pete Doherty High
Exclusive photos of Kate Moss shagger Pete Doherty getting high! Kids, don't try this at home.
Pete Burns' Lips Are Destroyed
Dead or Alive rocker-turned-plastic tranny freak Pete Burns is suing the plastic surgeon that destroyed his lips in an attempt to correct the over-done airbags that they'd become.