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FOUND ON THE WEB
FRIENDS AND LOVERS
OTHER COOL STUFF
Plays Sweet Child O' Mine.
Killer Celebrities
Famous people who killed another person. A few obvious, more recent examples, but some that might surprise you (stick around for number 1.)
Famous people who killed another person. A few obvious, more recent examples, but some that might surprise you (stick around for number 1.)
You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.
Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
Continue reading...
Like all people who don't consult the Bible to solve practical problems, I'm at war with Christmas. I wish people "Happy Holidays" , promote the idea of Santa Claus in order to deflect attention away from the role of the Christ-child, and accentuate the pagan elements of the celebration in favor of the Christian ones, which are in extreme danger with our country maintaining a paltry incidence of Christians at a mere 76%. And why wouldn't I? I stand to gain so much from the effort, I really can't afford not to. But we need a shot in the arm. So I'm mining the great war-mongers of the past for material. What do say, Genghis? How would you attack Christmas?
Genghis Khan: Well, first I'd find a few stores that feature religiously neutral decorations, like holly, wreaths, and maybe even some Kwanzaa stuff, because they'd clearly be part of the war effort. I'd absorb them into my army and ride to a store that has the nerve to wish people "Merry Christmas" when they check out. While riding we'd drag yule logs behind our horses to kick up extra dust and give the appearance of greater numbers. When I arrived at the store, let's say it's a Wal-Mart in Texas, I'd explain to the manager that he can either surrender, or everyone in the store can be killed. Then I'd camp out that night, instructing my soldiers to each light 3 Christmas trees apiece instead of just one, again to give the impression of greater numbers. We'd probably light a few Menorahs as well, just to show how at war with Christmas we really are. Naturally, there would be no praying.
We know it's fashionable to make fun of Taylor Lautner, the kid with the six-pack abs from Twilight. But we're not a-holes. We recognize Taylor's genius and that's why we're excited for a new comic book about the Half-Wolf Hero that will be in our sweaty hands come August. Just look at this cover:
The day that this is released is going to be the best day in the world. And this post is totally written without irony.
ChatRoulette Is The Most Popular Site On The Internet Right Now For Perverts Just Like You
Hey, it's me again. LiquidGeneration's illustrator and functioning illiterate. Hola!
So I came across this weird website, ChatRoulette.com. It's a website that connects you instantly with a random stranger. Only you don't just chat, you interact with webcam and audio (you have the option to turn these off, but I never do because I like being creepy). Sounds exciting, right?
I ran some numbers on the site because I like math. The average age of the people chatting is about 20-years-old, though I did see a couple of kids and a man with a beard so long and gray he reminded me of Santa (my hero!).
The gender ratio is really imbalanced. For every 20 guys there is 1 girl (and even a couple girls that are really dudes). Most of the people are just guys with a frowned faces looking pathetic and depressing. It depressed me even just looking at them for half a second.
There are some girls, however most of them are too ugly to get a date. Then there are the mixed groups of guys and girls sitting at the computer together, which I guess is a little better than sitting there by yourself looking like a serial killer.
If people don't want to show their faces, they usually put signs up in place of themselves. They write things like "Tits or GTFO." I even saw a teddy bear wearing dark shades with a note that read "Cure My Blindness, Show Your Tits." So I did, even though mine are really small. The most shocking sign was "Show Tits for Haiti." I didn't do this because that would be wrong. And again, my boobs are really small and mannish so what would be the point? I'm not on the internet to upset people.
One of the more disappointing moments came when I chatted with a guy for a whole minute. I asked him to make a peace sign because I wanted to see if he'd follow my commands like a monkey, but he just smirked, flipped me off and disconnected!
So go ahead, talk to strangers! It's fun!
Also! Here are my statistics for approximately 100 chats I had on ChatRoulette these past two days. "Others" consist of pets, stuffed animals and drugs. Yes, somebody wanted me to talk to their bong.
And just so you get a sense of the type of people going to ChatRoulette, her are some of our favs that we found during our chat sesh:
He's going to snipe your penis! Watch out!
NBA superstar look alike Yao Ming! :p
i wish they all could be California girls.
Just kidding! She's not fat at all! In fact, she's probably anorexic! Her name is Brooklyn Decker, and she's married to that tennis player Andy Roddick - that guy who looks like Stifler, who is that guy in American Pie who wants to bang your mom.
Some quick facts about Brooklyn, who we're thinking about stalking (because why not!).
-She's 22-years-old
-She's giving you major bone right now
-She's on Twitter - which means it's easy to find reasons why she might be really annoying. Like this reason:
But then we stop looking at her Twitter feed and stumble upon photos like this and realize that we can put up with annoying people, so long as they look like the hottest freaking girl in the world.
But then we remember we're not Andy Roddick, and we don't have six-pack abs and our name isn't something awesome like The Situation. We slowly realize we're totally never going to bang Brookly Decker. Then we cry. Then we go to Subway and order some fatass sandwich, not the healthy ones that Jared orders. Then we go home, cry some more while looking at ourself in the mirror and then turn on the computer to try and find naked pictures of Brooklyn Decker on the internet.
Eventually we end up like this:
Go ahead. Get your Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue fix right here.
Little Rock, Arkansas – When Michelle Duggar’s vagina overheard a conversation about a “due date” for “Number 19, Jesus-Jaylyn”, the vagina, known locally as “Stretch” reportedly suffered a massive panic attack.
This is the eighteenth known attack the vagina has suffered, and sources close to situation say the vagina was seen being carried away on a stretcher screaming expletives at Mr. Duggar. The source went on to say that the vagina was so agitated that it most certainly would have been waving its arms in the air, if it had been able to grow arms.
When contacted, a hospital representative would only say that the vagina was resting comfortably after being denied a transfer to a different body.
Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.
So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!
In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...
8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"
7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.
6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.
5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!
(click here to see the rest of the list)
Ah. It happens to the best of us, Jared. Diet Pro Tip: Don't put Twinkies in your 6-inch turkey sub.
See more pics of this former skinny fat dude here.
10 Hilarious Family Guy Songs
It's amazing that an animated show, like 'Family Guy,' is able to include so many incredible musical numbers. Here are ten of the funniest.
Your Acceptance
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LIQUIDGENERATION.COM INTERNET PRIVACY STATEMENT
This statement describes the privacy policy of LiquidGeneration, Inc. ("LiquidGeneration") for its website, Liquidgeneration.com. It applies only to Liquidgeneration.com, so if you visit other sites linked to Liquidgeneration.com, you should review the privacy policies of those sites. Also, this privacy policy does not apply to Liquidgenerations’s practices for gathering information offline or at other sites that it may own or operate. Also, LiquidGeneration reserves the right to update this policy at any time without notice, so we suggest that you occasionally review it.Information collected by Liquidgeneration.com:
Personal information.
You do not have to provide personal information to access or browse Liquidgeneration.com. However, we may ask you to provide personal information in connection with various opportunities and activities available at Liquidgeneration.com. By "personal information," we mean information that is identifiable to you. Personal information requested might include, for example, your email address, or, where identifiable to you, other information such as your age, zip code, gender and/or ethnicity.Automatic or Navigational Information. When you visit Liquidgeneration.com, we capture certain information automatically (even if you do not provide us with personal information), including your Internet protocol (IP) address, browser type, time and date of access and pages accessed. This "automatic" information, however, may become identifiable to you – and therefore "personal information"-- if you provide us with your email address or other personal information with which such "automatic or navigational" information then becomes programmatically associated.
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We use cookies to collect information about how visitors use Liquidgeneration.com and what pages and features visitors find more or less interesting.Ownership of Submissions
Videos, photos, emails, letters and any other information, uploaded, emailed, File Transported, or otherwise communicated to LiquidGeneration Inc., its employees and staff, or any agents or representatives of LiquidGeneration Inc, including writers for the LiquidGeneration Blogs and Mailroom become the property of LiquidGeneration Inc., and they will have the right to use them free of charge, and in any manner and in any medium, forever and throughout the world. This means that submissions might appear in publications including, but not limited to, a book, newsletter or on a LiquidGeneration Inc. web site. If you do not want your submissions to become the property of LiquidGeneration Inc., please do not submit, upload, email or otherwise communicate them to us.Who else has access to the information you provide?
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Children and LiquidGeneration.com:
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Lohan Is Not Pregnant
Judging by the number of pictures snapped of Lindsay revealing her flat stomach on the set of "Labor Pains", she is really nervous people think she's actually pregnant.
Weatherman Makes Sex Joke
When using the number 69, never say 69 slacks, 69 sacks, or talk about your '69 sax, we'll always assume you said sex.
Elephant Self Portrait
The kind of video your Mom will forward you in six months after she sees it on Oprah.