This week Lou grills Harry Potter on the final book, and finds out whether he dies or not!

Philip Norris walks you through his five step plan on how to save on the Holidays during the recession. Look out Martha Stewart!

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

Heath Ledger is dead and Philip Norris is angry. Find out why, and what his rant has to do with soccer balls!

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

What happens when Britney, Lindsay and Paris get together for a night on the town? Lasers shoot out of their noonies.

Check out this weird commercial of a lawyer advertising on TV that he wants only one client: Paris Hilton.

LG got up close and personal with Will Ferrell and all the stars of the upcoming film Blades of Glory. Was Will able to handle our intense tag team interviews? Watch it and find out!

In LG’s exclusive new interview with drunken Idol host Paula Abdul, she gives us her spaced out ideas on The Middle East.

Liquid Generation’s very own Human Interest Robot interviews a Hippie to find out why he’s getting all whiney over Thanksgiving.

Britney blasts out her second baby, The Pope blasts Islam and Madonna blasts off. Philip Norris knows it all – because he’s not a stupid woman.

Tom Cruise got fired, Israel is fired up, and Survivor is heating up… with racism! Philip Norris has the stories, unless he embarrasses himself trying to rap.

Lance is out, Al Qaida wants war, and the Tour De France is a crack house. Philip Norris is on the scene – unless he gets hit by the Girls Gone Wild bus.

Star Jones almost died this week from getting a boob job. In this episode, Philip Norris ponders a world without this very fat lady who annoys the crap out of all of us.

This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!

This week your family celebrates a holiday, Elton John gets married, New Yorkers walk to work, and the inventor of the internets starts a blog.

This week a Star Trek cast member comes out of the closet, Stallone wants to do another Rambo, and there might be another crazy Jackson on the loose.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.