OTHER COOL STUFF

 

Britney Spears Can't Hear You

Britney Spears Can't Hear You

This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!

 

Britney Spears: Mother of the Year

Britney Spears: Mother of the Year

This week Philip Norris gives you a round-up of the latest news, including a sad story about Britney Spears, who sucks at being a mom.

 

SMN: Jessica Alba is a Golden Girl

SMN: Jessica Alba is a Golden Girl

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

 

News: Simon Cowell, Heartless Bastard

News: Simon Cowell, Heartless Bastard

Did you see Simon Cowell roll his eyes at Chris Richardson during American Idol? According this video, Simon has a history of being a heartless bastard.

 

News: A Tribute To Anna Nicole

News: A Tribute To Anna Nicole

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

 

Child Star Almost Dies

Child Star Almost Dies

Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.

 

Britney Is A Good Mom

Britney Is A Good Mom

This week Britney can chew gum and lie at the same time, Stephen Hawking is a cripple, Daryl Hannah was arrested, and Brad Pitt is making Zombie Movies.

 

Brad's Holding Orphans for Angelina

Brad's Holding Orphans for Angelina

This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!

 

Vegas Loves Hooters

Vegas Loves Hooters

This week Hooters Casino opens in Las Vegas, a Full House actress is addicted to crystal meth, and there’s a Superbowl game or something.

 

New Year's Eve Sucks

New Year's Eve Sucks

This year New Year’s Eve sucks, the donut man dies, New Orleans comes back to life, and your mom looks at porn.

 

Santa Claus Is Dead

Santa Claus Is Dead

This week somebody kills Santa, Morgan Freeman stops racism, people search for Britney Spears on the internets and Kevin Federline drives a Ferrari. Not much going on.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Create Alien Baby

Suck My News Weekly: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Create Alien Baby

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Tara Reid is Busted!

Suck My News Weekly: Tara Reid is Busted!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Celebs Gone Wild!

Suck My News Weekly: Celebs Gone Wild!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Fetus Spears is Born!

Suck My News Weekly: Fetus Spears is Born!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Goatse Porn!

Suck My News Weekly: Goatse Porn!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Hurricanes Are Not Funny!

Suck My News Weekly: Hurricanes Are Not Funny!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: The Apocalypse Cometh

Suck My News Weekly: The Apocalypse Cometh

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Jude Law's Tiny One

Suck My News Weekly: Jude Law's Tiny One

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Lohan Smokes The Reefer!

Suck My News Weekly: Lohan Smokes The Reefer!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 
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