This week Philip Norris defends a horny teacher’s right to sleep with one of his or her students. Sexy!

This week Lou grills Harry Potter on the final book, and finds out whether he dies or not!

Philip Norris explains why Adam Lambert lost American Idol and why Americans hate the gays. Good Times!

Philip Norris discusses what kind of lesbian Lindsay Lohan will be.

Philip Norris walks you through his five step plan on how to save on the Holidays during the recession. Look out Martha Stewart!

Lou is the FIRST to interview Britney Spears, who has just gone cuckoo for Cocopuffs. See her meltdown right before your eyes!

This week Philip Norris gives you the lowdown on who to vote for in the upcoming election.

You think Batman was rich before, wait until he rakes in all of this box office money!

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

Philip Norris discusses the fact the Britney Spears might be pregnant and who the father could be.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

Philip Norris discusses the art of the celebrity sex tape.

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

This week Philip Norris reports on Paris Hilton's brother, Gary Coleman and the writer's strike.

Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

This week Britney has ADD, Lindsay Lohan's dad has a noonie, and the writers strike...gold!

This week Philip Norris brings you the week’s most fabulously racist news.