Like you, Philip Norris believes that Perez Hilton is an idiot.

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

This week Lou Berk sits down with Oscar de la Hoya and asks him why he dresses like a whore.

In LG’s exclusive new interview with drunken Idol host Paula Abdul, she gives us her spaced out ideas on The Middle East.

In this special report, Philip Norris discusses violent video games like the upcoming Bully by Rockstar Games and tells you why they’re good for America.

Philip Norris gives you the inside scoop on Lindsay, Paris and the fat sweaty guy no one likes!

Star Jones almost died this week from getting a boob job. In this episode, Philip Norris ponders a world without this very fat lady who annoys the crap out of all of us.

This week Philip Norris unloads on the real reason LiquidGeneration is moving to Los Angeles: to bask in the God-like radiance that is Gary Booth’s Toothy Smile.

This week Kanye West discusses his homophobia, Wal-Mart hires illegals, 50 Cent teaches us how to read, and Michael Jackson uses the women’s bathroom.

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.