This week Philip Norris comments on Hugh Hefners comment about Miley Cyrus in Playboy, and how people are into some weird sex crap.

Philip Norris can't afford gas, and so can't you. It's okay, he has a couple solutions.

Philip Norris gets an iPhone! Unfortunately he can't activate it, so he gives some solutions on what to do with it.

Like you, Philip Norris believes that Perez Hilton is an idiot.

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

This week Lou Berk sits down with Oscar de la Hoya and asks him why he dresses like a whore.

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is in jail – and he’s filmed a sex tape! Everything’s hot and nothing’s consensual!

LG got up close and personal with Will Ferrell and all the stars of the upcoming film Blades of Glory. Was Will able to handle our intense tag team interviews? Watch it and find out!

LG new has assembled a collection of Rachel Ray’s most annoying moments to prove once and for all that some one really needs to slap that bitch.

Britney blasts out her second baby, The Pope blasts Islam and Madonna blasts off. Philip Norris knows it all – because he’s not a stupid woman.

In this special report, Philip Norris discusses violent video games like the upcoming Bully by Rockstar Games and tells you why they’re good for America.

The hottest new baby – that’s NOT a Scientologist!

Philip Norris gives you the inside scoop on Lindsay, Paris and the fat sweaty guy no one likes!

The Mexican immigrants of the world aren’t being heard loud enough and Philip Norris has some ideas on who might lead them. Hint: one of them isn’t your mom.

This week Philip Norris unloads on the real reason LiquidGeneration is moving to Los Angeles: to bask in the God-like radiance that is Gary Booth’s Toothy Smile.

This week Jessica and Nick call it quits, President Bush gives a hilarious speech and Vince Vaughn is a drunk!

This week Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, but even more important they celebrate the new Xbox 360. We’re there to tell you about it.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.