Lou is the FIRST to interview Britney Spears, who has just gone cuckoo for Cocopuffs. See her meltdown right before your eyes!

This week Philip Norris gives you the lowdown on who to vote for in the upcoming election.

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!

This week Britney, Paris and Jodie Foster get gay together, Scrooge McDuck is mistaken for Donald Trump and David Blaine is on drugs.

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

What happens when Britney, Lindsay and Paris get together for a night on the town? Lasers shoot out of their noonies.

To get publicity for his new movie, Optimus Prime released a sex tape. Host Lou Berk has the dirt.

Watch your little girls when you watch American Idol – or else Sanjaya will turn them into the devil!

Warning: Oprah Magazine’s response to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is not for the faint of heart (or stomach).

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

LG new has assembled a collection of Rachel Ray’s most annoying moments to prove once and for all that some one really needs to slap that bitch.

In this special report, Philip Norris discusses violent video games like the upcoming Bully by Rockstar Games and tells you why they’re good for America.

Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.

Is Suri Cruise an imaginary baby? Which game system is for racists? Which celebrity roof caught on fire? Philip Norris has the answers!

Star Jones wallows in self pity, Wacko Jacko moves to Europe and Jessica isn’t good enough for Dallas.