NEWS
Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.
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3/13/2008
NEWS
Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!
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2/8/2008
NEWS
Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.
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7/21/2006
NEWS
Is Suri Cruise an imaginary baby? Which game system is for racists? Which celebrity roof caught on fire? Philip Norris has the answers!
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7/7/2006
NEWS
This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!
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3/17/2006
NEWS
This week Dick Cheney shoots a man, TomKat almost breaks up, and Kid Rock and Scott Stapp touch magic sticks. Disgusting, weird and newsworthy.
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2/17/2006
NEWS
This week Bush will address the nation, Google loves the communists, Joaquin Phoenix almost dies, Chris Penn does die, and Clay Aiken is gay.
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1/27/2006
NEWS
This week Dubya’s poll numbers are in the toilet, Lindsay Lohan wants to get married, Paris’ boytoy crashes a Bentley, and more celeb debauchery.
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11/11/2005
NEWS
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
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10/29/2004
NEWS
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
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4/16/2004