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American Idol Is Finally Over!

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

4493 Views | 5/23/2008

SMN: Jessica Alba is a Golden Girl

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

11929 Views | 8/03/2007

Suck My News: America is #1

Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.

10516 Views | 7/10/2007

Suck My News: The Return of Phillip Norris

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

10696 Views | 6/29/2007

Prison Guys Gone Wild

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is in jail – and he’s filmed a sex tape! Everything’s hot and nothing’s consensual!

19370 Views | 4/29/2007

News: American Idol's Little Exorcist

Watch your little girls when you watch American Idol – or else Sanjaya will turn them into the devil!

8970 Views | 3/23/2007

Lance Is Bass-ically Gay!

Lance is out, Al Qaida wants war, and the Tour De France is a crack house. Philip Norris is on the scene – unless he gets hit by the Girls Gone Wild bus.

14276 Views | 7/28/2006

Suck My News Weekly: K-Fed Is Vanilla Ice

This week K-Fed’s rap song leaks on the internet, Leonardo DiCaprio breaks up with Gisele, and Mohammad Ali comes face to face with the Angel of Death.

51396 Views | 11/04/2005

Suck My News Weekly: Star Trek is Gay

This week a Star Trek cast member comes out of the closet, Stallone wants to do another Rambo, and there might be another crazy Jackson on the loose.

31720 Views | 10/28/2005

Suck My News Weekly: Vince Vaughn Gets Lucky

This week Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston hook up, Bush and Bono have lunch together, Michael Jackson gets called for jury duty and other signs the world is a truly crunked-up place.

37249 Views | 10/21/2005