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American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.
Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.
We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.
Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.
Will K-Fed’s alleged cheating be the straw that breaks the crying, pregnant camel’s back?
This year New Year’s Eve sucks, the donut man dies, New Orleans comes back to life, and your mom looks at porn.
This week K-Fed’s rap song leaks on the internet, Leonardo DiCaprio breaks up with Gisele, and Mohammad Ali comes face to face with the Angel of Death.
This week a Star Trek cast member comes out of the closet, Stallone wants to do another Rambo, and there might be another crazy Jackson on the loose.
This week Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston hook up, Bush and Bono have lunch together, Michael Jackson gets called for jury duty and other signs the world is a truly crunked-up place.
Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.