This week Philip Norris comments on Hugh Hefners comment about Miley Cyrus in Playboy, and how people are into some weird sex crap.

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

This week Philip Norris talks about how Amy Winehouse hates everyone that's not white. What color is she anyway?

Philip Norris discusses the art of the celebrity sex tape.

Hayden from Heroes just turned 18, and Lou Berk grills her about allegations of drinking, drugs, and wild sex!

To get publicity for his new movie, Optimus Prime released a sex tape. Host Lou Berk has the dirt.

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is in jail – and he’s filmed a sex tape! Everything’s hot and nothing’s consensual!

Paris Hilton’s belongings! We’ve found’em! You’ll want them! And most all – you’ll want to have sex with them!

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

Mel faces Jail, New York faces heat, and Paris faces the press (and looks dumb). Philip Norris has the latest, and doesn’t have sex with boys!

Someone had sex with Anna Nicole and Batwoman is a huge lesbo.

In this episode, Philip Norris applauds Craigslist sex and hopes that other websites will help people get their freak on.

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.