Ashlee Simpson Preps For Divorce

Ashlee Simpson Preps For Divorce

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

 

Jessica Alba's Preggers!

Jessica Alba's Preggers!

This week Philip Norris is appalled that Jessica Alba would destroy her body by getting pregnant.

 

SMN: Jessica Alba is a Golden Girl

SMN: Jessica Alba is a Golden Girl

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

 

Bad Musicians / Retarded Couples

Bad Musicians / Retarded Couples

Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.

 

Star Jones Has No Job

Star Jones Has No Job

Star Jones wallows in self pity, Wacko Jacko moves to Europe and Jessica isn’t good enough for Dallas.

 

Brad's Holding Orphans for Angelina

Brad's Holding Orphans for Angelina

This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!

 

The Sad Split of Jessica and Nick

The Sad Split of Jessica and Nick

This week Jessica and Nick call it quits, President Bush gives a hilarious speech and Vince Vaughn is a drunk!

 

Suck My News Weekly: Ashlee Simpson Sucks Donkey

Suck My News Weekly: Ashlee Simpson Sucks Donkey

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

Suck My News Weekly: Ashlee Simpson Sucks Ass!

Suck My News Weekly: Ashlee Simpson Sucks Ass!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

 

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