NEWS
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!
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4/11/2008
NEWS
Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.
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7/10/2007
NEWS
Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.
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9/1/2006
NEWS
Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.
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7/21/2006
NEWS
Star Jones wallows in self pity, Wacko Jacko moves to Europe and Jessica isn’t good enough for Dallas.
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6/30/2006
NEWS
This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!
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3/17/2006
NEWS
This week Philip Norris and LiquidGeneration announce that they are calling a truce with Hollywood. Who do we want to make nice with? Who do we want to continue to bash? Tune in!
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3/4/2006
NEWS
This week somebody kills Santa, Morgan Freeman stops racism, people search for Britney Spears on the internets and Kevin Federline drives a Ferrari. Not much going on.
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12/16/2005
NEWS
This week Jessica and Nick call it quits, President Bush gives a hilarious speech and Vince Vaughn is a drunk!
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12/2/2005
NEWS
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
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11/5/2004