NEWS
This week a new face is added to the LG news crew. Lou Berk, our crotchety newsman, speaks with Paris Hilton live from her Five Star Jail Cell.
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6/15/2007
NEWS
Check out this weird commercial of a lawyer advertising on TV that he wants only one client: Paris Hilton.
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5/11/2007
NEWS
Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is in jail – and he’s filmed a sex tape! Everything’s hot and nothing’s consensual!
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4/29/2007
NEWS
Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.
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9/1/2006
NEWS
Terrorists go to jail, Robin Williams goes to rehab, and Heather Mills goes fence-hopping. Philip Norris has the stories… and photos of Suri?
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8/11/2006
NEWS
Mel faces Jail, New York faces heat, and Paris faces the press (and looks dumb). Philip Norris has the latest, and doesn’t have sex with boys!
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8/4/2006
NEWS
This week Philip Norris defends a horny teacher’s right to sleep with one of his or her students. Sexy!
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3/24/2006
NEWS
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
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2/12/2005
NEWS
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
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4/9/2004
NEWS
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
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11/20/2003