This week Philip Norris defends a horny teacher’s right to sleep with one of his or her students. Sexy!

Philip Norris discusses what kind of lesbian Lindsay Lohan will be.

This week Philip Norris gives you the lowdown on who to vote for in the upcoming election.

This week Philip Norris comments on Hugh Hefners comment about Miley Cyrus in Playboy, and how people are into some weird sex crap.

Philip Norris can't afford gas, and so can't you. It's okay, he has a couple solutions.

You think Batman was rich before, wait until he rakes in all of this box office money!

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

This week Philip Norris explains why you have really bad taste in movies. BTW Jared Leto is a tool.

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

This week Britney Spears is knocked up, Tom Cruise is a Mommy, and Carson Daly is still a douche bag.

This week Britney has ADD, Lindsay Lohan's dad has a noonie, and the writers strike...gold!

This week Philip Norris brings you the week’s most fabulously racist news.

This week Lou Berk sits down with Oscar de la Hoya and asks him why he dresses like a whore.

This week Philip Norris lays the smack down on Paris, Pavarotti, and Jerry Lewis!

This week Philip Norris gives you a round-up of the latest news, including a sad story about Britney Spears, who sucks at being a mom.

This week Lou Berk sits down with Britney Spears’ mom, who allegedly had a sexual affair with Kevin Federline.