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Watch your little girls when you watch American Idol – or else Sanjaya will turn them into the devil!
This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.