Philip Norris explains why Adam Lambert lost American Idol and why Americans hate the gays. Good Times!

Philip Norris can't afford gas, and so can't you. It's okay, he has a couple solutions.

Philip Norris gets an iPhone! Unfortunately he can't activate it, so he gives some solutions on what to do with it.

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

This week Philip Norris is appalled that Jessica Alba would destroy her body by getting pregnant.

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

This week Britney, Paris and Jodie Foster get gay together, Scrooge McDuck is mistaken for Donald Trump and David Blaine is on drugs.

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

What happens when Britney, Lindsay and Paris get together for a night on the town? Lasers shoot out of their noonies.

To get publicity for his new movie, Optimus Prime released a sex tape. Host Lou Berk has the dirt.

LG got up close and personal with Will Ferrell and all the stars of the upcoming film Blades of Glory. Was Will able to handle our intense tag team interviews? Watch it and find out!

Join famous director turned archeologist James Cameron as he makes an amazing discovery in Jesus’ tomb… Jesus himself!

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

Those paparazzi pics can only get you so close. Liquid Generation’s News Team takes you on a fantastic voyage right into Brit’s flesh canyon.

Liquid Generation’s very own Human Interest Robot interviews a Hippie to find out why he’s getting all whiney over Thanksgiving.