Lou is the FIRST to interview Britney Spears, who has just gone cuckoo for Cocopuffs. See her meltdown right before your eyes!

You think Batman was rich before, wait until he rakes in all of this box office money!

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

This week Philip Norris interviews Britney Spears’ kids! Are they drunk?

Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

Check out this weird commercial of a lawyer advertising on TV that he wants only one client: Paris Hilton.

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

Paris Hilton’s belongings! We’ve found’em! You’ll want them! And most all – you’ll want to have sex with them!

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

In this special report, Philip Norris discusses violent video games like the upcoming Bully by Rockstar Games and tells you why they’re good for America.

This week Philip Norris and LiquidGeneration announce that they are calling a truce with Hollywood. Who do we want to make nice with? Who do we want to continue to bash? Tune in!

This week the internet made fun of Chuck Norris, the Golden Globes bored people, Jolie and Pitt hyphenate they’re kids’ names, and Goatse frightens your friend.

This week Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, but even more important they celebrate the new Xbox 360. We’re there to tell you about it.

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.