Score a little credit for Scientology and Will Smith as his film proclaimed "Giants lose to Patriots for second time this season 23 to 7." LRH lives!

She falls flat on her face because she is realizing how much it will cost to power the anamatronic unicorn Ty plans to install in their living room.

Let Tom Cruise tell you all about Scientology, Xenu and how you can give yourself a free auditing test!

Eli may live to play again this week but he and Peyton both lost when this ad for the "DSRL" aired on national television.

When 1 minute is just too much time to wait, feel free to shoot yourself. No toast for you.

In theaters 7-2-08. A hard-living superhero who has fallen out of favor with the public enters into a questionable relationship with the wife of the public relations professional who's trying to repair his image.

Crowds are good for many things. Free titty grabs are one of those things.

Scientists in South Korea have so much free time, they have managed to clone glow in the dark cats. Now they can fight off the flying monkeys from N. Korea.

Fergie sang Live and let die at the Music something or other. She spent some of the time flying around the stage playing a rocking version of Quidditch.

This is how Jesus really lived his life, as a tricky illusionist.

After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."

It's like a reverse planetarium.

In theaters 11-28-07. An irreverent look at life, love and mortality – through the lens of one of the most surreal experiences facing American families: when adult siblings are plucked from their everyday, ordinary, self-centered lives to care for an estranged elderly parent. There is a moment in everyone's life when childhood ends and adulthood begins, for Jon and Wendy Savage that moment is now.

Ms. Olsen #1 looks better here than she does during any other given day. The undead look works for you, live it.

If you get every joke in this song you are probably very intelligent although you live alone in a dark apartment.

Is Marie Osmond "dancing with an eating disorder" again? Or did all of the bright lights and Tom Bergeron's voice finally become too nauseating?

In theaters 11-21-07. A freak storm unleashes a species of blood-thirsty creatures on a small town, where a small band of citizens hole-up in a supermarket and fight for their lives.

Sienna Miller is pissed about nudie pics leaking from the set of Hippie Hippie Shake. In fairness the boobs and "hippie garden" will be covered during a CGI drug trip.

In theaters 11-30-07. A twenty-nine year-old slacker who lives with his mom realizes his sweet set-up is threatened when she hears wedding bells with her self-help guru boyfriend.

In theaters 11-9-07. Fred Claus has lived almost his entire life in his little brother’s very large shadow. Fred tried, but he could never live up to the example set by the younger Nicholas, who was just a perfect, well, Saint. True to form, Nicholas grew up to be the model of giving, while Fred became the polar opposite: a repo man who then steals what he repossesses.