Neil Young once wrote a song about his "Cinnamon Girl", this one's kind of cute once you clean the cinnamon out of her.

Britney Spears forgot, once again, to wear clothes big enough to cover her saggy saddlebags. Someone buy this girl a tent or a few yards of cloth.

Chairy, the loveable and slightly obese furniture from the Pee Wee Herman show, was found discarded a few months ago. It just goes to show you, human or furniture, no one likes a fat girl. Tear.

In theaters 2-15-08. A family settles into its vacation home, which happens to be the next stop for a pair of young, articulate, white-gloved serial killers on an excursion through the neighborhood.

Dora explores the rampant valleys of puberty, giving comic nerds everywhere another reason to lock the bathroom door. Her monkey still looks queer.

Further proof that a girl can never be skinny. Remember ladies, its not sexy unless your bones are protruding from your blouse.

In theaters 11-2-07. Gone Baby Gone is Ben Affleck’s directorial debut and is based on the novel from the acclaimed author of “Mystic River.” It is an intense look inside an ongoing investigation about the mysterious disappearance of a little girl.

In theaters 10-12-07. Lars and the Real Girl is a heartfelt comedy starring Academy-Award nominated Ryan Gosling as Lars Lindstrom a loveable introvert whose emotional baggage has kept him from fully embracing life. He buys a life-size doll online to become his girlfriend.

This grocer has obviously has not heard "Hollaback Girl". Gwen spells out the name of the mystery fruit many times.

Lindsay Lohan has either been working out in rehab, or hiding coke in her trunk. Skinny drug addict white girls don’t have butts like this. We smell trouble!

This girl's outfit was too sexy for her plane. She could however, fly the LG Sluts R Awesome Airlines any day. You can see her undies at 1:34, just looking out for ya.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is the cover girl for some lingerie company. Check out the picture and submit your best "her nose looks like Ms. Piggy" joke. We couldn't decide.

Keira Knightley looks like the Corpse Bride. She clearly will be the undead captain of The Black Pearl in the next Pirates movie.

Tom Cruise and Katie "Robot" Holmes have used the power of Xenu to fast forward time to see what their beautiful baby girl will look like. My eyes… my eyes.

How much do you want to bet that alcohol just never worked for this guy? He then turned to hypnosis and found Earth girls are easy.

Seriously, someone just needs to take this poor girl aside and euthanize her. Was their a shortage of classy dresses in her trailer? Is she trying to turn guys gay? WHY GOD WHY!?

Just when you were really getting sick of Simon Cowell making fun of our precious American Idol retards, he throws us this crazy girl from his homeland.

The rules have changed at Hooters. If you joke about the "scenery" they will use your body as a barbell.

This has two of the internet's favorite genres. "Person smacking face into floor" and "brief shot up the skirt of a pretty girl".

Next time you are unsure what electronic emotion your cat is trying to express, consult this guide and enjoy hours of fun.