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I cannot believe Kim Kardashian's wedding was considered a genuine media event.
I cannot believe Kim Kardashian's wedding was considered a genuine media event.
I can't imagine any event that would necessitate this cake.
The week ahead holds plenty of possibilities for any T.V. junkie. Here are a few picks you should definitely consider not checking out.

Monday: The Event. It has a backwards "E" in the logo! Don't you understand?! That is AWESOME! It has aliens! And intrigue! Assuming you were as enraged as anyone at the lack of accountability demonstrated in the storytelling of Lost, wouldn't watching this show put you neck-and-neck with a battered woman who meets her next boyfriend in a police drunk tank? The Event airs Monday nights at 9PM on NBC.
Tuesday: NCIS: Los Angeles. Person A: "Who's the special agent in charge here?!" Person B: "Chris O'Donnell." Person A: "I'm serious!" Person B: "So am I." Person A: "Wait, really?" NCIS: Los Angeles airs Tuesday nights at 9PM on CBS.
Wednesday: The Middle. Husband and wife. 3 kids. Oldest, jock. Middle, awkward. Youngest, precociously smart. Were you in a coma for the sitcom era of television? No? Oh, then never mind. The Middle airs Wednesday nights at 8PM on ABC.
Thursday: The Big Bang Theory. Want to see what T.V. writers imagine the extremely educated to act like? You don't have to. It turns out they act like every stereotypical nerd you've ever seen on television and in the movies. The Big Bang Theory airs Thursday nights at 8PM on CBS.
Friday: CSI: NY. Hey, know what would be interesting? A police procedural about crime scene investigators! Sweet! Hey, know what would also be cool? If there was a version that took place in New York City. Can you imagine? A cop show in New York?! Where's our Emmy?! CSI: NY airs Friday nights at 10PM on CBS.
Saturday: Click. In case you never saw one of the million and a half student films that tackle the concept of a television remote that influences reality, Fox is running Click, the story of a man with a television remote that influences reality. I wonder if he'll learn a valuable lesson in the end. Click airs this coming Saturday at 8PM on Fox.
Sunday: The Amazing Race. They've had 17 seasons. How can it be amazing if it's been done 17 times? I don't know, but I plan to not find out. The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights at 8PM on CBS.
Look at what just dropped, ya'll! New Juggal-footage!
It's amazing that it's almost been a year since the last Gathering of the Juggalos. The world was a lot more innocent then. There were no oil spills, our iPhones didn't drop bars when you touched them, and we were still reeling from the 9th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos.
Here's the latest infomercial promoting the next gathering, which I'm kinda impressed by. I don't know how they managed to get Coolio, Tila Tequila, Slick Rick and Gallagher all at the same event, but they did it. Miracles, ya'll.
Also, let's talk about Sugar Slam for a second. Her mouth is dirty, she looks a little slutty and...well, she looks a little slutty. If this caliber of women will be attending the Gathering next month - and not this thing - then you can rest assured I'll be there, painting dripping from my sweaty, ICP-admiring crack and everything.

Question 1: Is this a real photo or a still from the soon to be released hit sequel event of the summer, Coming To America Too, starring Tyler Perry?
Question 2: Is this a real world leader or some sort of Epcot Center exhibit?
Question 3: Do you know who this is?
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Own the pulse-pounding unrated cut too terrifying for theaters. 10/21 on DVD & Blu-ray Hi-Def. Explore your worst fears imaginable with this shocking suspense thriller inspired by disturbing true events.
Which is really the only thing that makes the event tolerable, oh and the puddles, those are cool; it's a sport with puddles, awesome!
The steeplechase would be a nationally televised sporting event if this were guaranteed to happen every night.
In theaters 12-14-07. Francis Ford Coppola directs this love story wrapped in a mystery. Set in Europe before WWII, a timid professor is changed by a cataclysmic event and explores the mysteries of life.
This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!
Check out the Airborne Toxic Event doing a pure acoustic version of “Poor Isaac.” This is the way we like it over at the LG studios!
These new shoes have GPS tracking systems and are able to call a pimp or a sex worker advocates group, in the event of an emergency… seriously… no joke.
Lauryn Hill has apparently become crazier by the day. What better way to celebrate freedom from the doldrums of society than hiring Lauryn the Clown for your special event!
Finally, the motion picture event you been waiting for all year... Transformers: The Trailer. Enjoy.
Want to see all the cool bands you missed at Lollapalooza? Check out live video footage of the event right here. You’ll find this kind of raw footage nowhere else. Enjoy.